


life is good

by nsofties



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mentioned Mark Lee (NCT), Mentioned Na Jaemin, Parenthood, i’ll fix the tags later i’m uploading this from a plane on my phone lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 20:23:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18972358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nsofties/pseuds/nsofties
Summary: He wraps his arms around his small family, ignoring their giddy complaints, and smiles. Everything, in this moment, feels whole.Life is good.





	life is good

**Author's Note:**

> i added to my johndo thread from twitter  
> https://twitter.com/nsofties/status/1130670440907542528

Johnny doesn’t know what possessed him to invite Doyoung along on the annual boys’ trip. It’s not like he didn’t  _ want to _ \- it was more that Doyoung had never expressed interest. It was Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun’s... thing. Childhood friends, they all would reconvene once a year and catch up in some city that they would pull out of a hat.

Johnny was good at keeping friendships for a long time - Yuta and Jaehyun were testaments to that. Doyoung had come along later - college roommate turned best friend turned coworker _ and _ apartment roommate. It wasn’t like Johnny was trying to keep them all separated, it just happened. The three childhood friends were separated by thousands of miles, so Doyoung never really overlapped with them to begin with. It wasn’t until Yuta brought it up during a group call that Johnny realized how far his two worlds had been separated.

“Hey,” Yuta had said in a lull in the conversation. “Why don’t you bring Doyoung along this time?”

“Doyoung?”

“Yeah! You two have been friends for like, years now! It’ll be fun!” Jaehyun had chimed in. “Plus, I’d like to meet the man who’s unwittingly swept you off your feet.”

“Now I definitely don’t want him coming along.”

“When will you just confess to him, Johnny? It’s been years! Plus, there’s no way he doesn’t have feelings for you. Why else has he stuck around for so long?” teased Yuta.

“You guys have!”

“Yeah, because there are thousands of miles preventing me from kicking your stupid headass self,” deadpanned Jaehyun. Johnny could hear the frown in his voice.

“Just invite him, Johnny! It’ll be fun!”

“... I’ll think about it. Bring it up at dinner tomorrow.”

Johnny doesn’t bring it up that dinner. Or the next. He doesn’t bring it up until Doyoung asks him when he’s leaving for the trip over dinner.

“Uh, next month. We’re headed to Namiseom.”

“Oh! It’s really lovely there this time of year. Good choice.”

“... Do you want to come?”

Doyoung stops chewing, staring at him uneasily. “Oh?”

“You don’t -“

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

“Yeah! Of course it is! The guys really want to meet you. I want you to meet them. It’ll be fun! You should come. Put in your vacation notice.”

Doyoung looks thoughtful, glancing at Johnny skeptically before a smile spreads across his face. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I’m in.”

Conversation over dinner naturally shifts over to telling childhood stories. Doyoung snickers behind his hand as he recounts the time Taeyong had gone to the hair salon for red hair and had returned with a bright green that complimented the pallor of his skin as he declared he was, as directly quoted by Doyoung, “ _ absolutely done for. _ ”

Johnny can barely breathe as he tells the story from when Yuta had burned off half his eyebrow and the hair from Jaehyun’s arms in nutrition in middle school. It had been years until they trusted him in the kitchen again and, when he thinks about it, they rarely let him into the kitchen even if he  _ had _ earned their trust back.

As they talk and the food gets cold, Johnny wonders, again, why he never invited Doyoung along. It wasn’t out of embarrassment - not a chance. Doyoung had been the one to rub his back and clean up after he had gotten blackout after a bad breakup. If anything, Doyoung should be embarrassed of Johnny. He can’t put his finger on it, and has no time to ponder it further at the moment as Doyoung starts clearing the table.

“I’ll be sure to put in my vacation notice tomorrow morning and we can talk about travel tomorrow over dinner?”

Doyoung hands him a bowl to dry and he nods. “Sounds good. We haven’t booked any flights or anything yet, so we have time.”

“Nice. Not that I was concerned. You’re always punctual.” When they finish cleaning everything and curl up on opposite sides of the couch to watch the evening news, Doyoung turns to him. His lips are pursed and Johnny tilts his head to the side, prompting him to speak.

“... You’re _ sure _ you want me to come along?”

“Yes, Doyoung. Why do you ask?”

“Well... you’ve never asked before. I don’t want you to feel pressured to invite me along.”

“I don’t! Not at all! I don’t know why I never thought to before. Maybe because we go on little trips together all the time and I figured you’d be sick of seeing me.”

“If I was sick of seeing you, I would tell you, Johnny.”

“No, you wouldn’t. Remember how you couldn’t tell the waitress she got your order wrong and you still ate that shitty entrée even though we both knew you wanted the steak?”

“She was _ exhausted _ , Johnny.”

“And so were we!”

“... Point noted. But, I’m never sick of spending time with you. If I was, I wouldn’t live with you.”

“That’s true.”

“I also wouldn’t put up with your weird food combinations.”

“Chips and ketchup on a ham sandwich on honey butter bread isn’t weird, Doyoung.”

“Why can’t you just eat the chips on the side like a normal person?”

“Being normal is boring!”

Doyoung sends him  _ The Look _ , which Johnny responds to by promptly sealing his lips shut. “I thought as much.”

“Anyways - really, Doyo. I want you to come along. There’s no pressure on me to invite you, and you shouldn’t feel pressure to say yes.”

“I don’t at all! I just want to make sure it’s really okay.”

“It is. I’m excited for you to come along.”

“I’m excited to go!” The smile that Doyoung offers him sends his heart into overdrive. It’s a bit slow to start, but it’s bright and it’s so  _ Doyoung _ \- softness and strength and also a touch of sweetness. Qualities that should, to an extent, contradict one another, but instead work together beautifully. Johnny pauses, taking a moment to ponder his current predicament.

Maybe he should’ve addressed the whole, “ _ I’m pretty sure I’m in love with my roommate _ ,” thing before he invited Doyoung on the trip.

Johnny turns his attention back to the TV, shrugging to himself.

He has time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny does not actually have time. He tricked himself into thinking a month of work and preparing for a two week trip would provide enough time to juggle emotional turmoil. It was not enough. Not even  _ close _ , he realizes, as they step onto the airplane, Doyoung grinning at him as they slide into the cramped seats.

“I’m so excited! I haven’t been back in years. Not since I was a kid. We went as a family.”

“It’s so weird to me that we were so close and yet so far from each other growing up. The world is both infinitely small and infinitely large.”

“That it is,” agrees Doyoung as he shoves his bag under the seat in front of him.

“Did you tell Taeyong you’re back in Korea?”

“I did! And the fucker is on vacation in Paris! Can you believe that?”

“Paris is a nice place.”

“Of course you’ve been,” teases Doyoung. “How could I forget the wine drunk calls?”

“That was  _ Portugal _ !”

“Close enough.”

“Not even close!”

“Same general vicinity.”

“... Right.”

Doyoung looks at Johnny with pursed lips before letting out the most irritated sigh. “Listen. We both know I’m shit at geography, Johnny. Your bar should’ve been set low to begin with.”

“You’re right. I should’ve expected less.” He lets out an  _ ow _ as Doyoung punches him on the arm.

“You’re supposed to say, ‘ _ No, Doyoung. You’re amazing and I have so much faith in you _ !’”

“ _ No, Doyoung. You’re amazing and I have so much faith in you _ !” parrots Johnny sarcastically.

“If I kick your ass on this trip, it’s your own fault.”

“Try it. I dare you.”

Other than their small bit of banter, the flight is relatively uneventful - Doyoung knocks out an hour in and leaves Johnny to hours of internal panic as Doyoung’s head loll’s to the side and rests on his shoulder. He realizes he has a plane ride to figure things out, but doesn’t figure anything out. If anything, his feelings for Doyoung increase ten-fold as the man blinks wearily and smiles sleepily at him as they land.

Johnny realizes, quickly, that he’s a goner. That something has to give this trip and it’s a genuine toss up as to which way it’s going to go.

He hopes well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jaehyun and Yuta are waiting for them at Incheon International Airport with a giant sign that says: “DOYOUNG,” with a small, “+ Johnny,” in the bottom right corner. He would be more upset if he didn’t appreciate his friends’ efforts to make Doyoung feel more included.

Laughter trails over from his right, and Johnny looks over to Doyoung, whose eyes are sparkling as he waves at them. Johnny regrets taking so long to introduce them at this moment. They way that they greet Doyoung as if they’ve met him a thousand times sets Johnny’s heart aflutter. His family feels complete.

Introductions are made as they all work their way to collect their luggage at the carousels. It’s relatively quick, Doyoung and Johnny’s matching, bright-blue luggage set a sight for sore eyes as Johnny lets Jaehyun struggle to drag it off. Doyoung is the first to offer a helping hand to Jaehyun who laughs at something Doyoung mutters under his breath.

“Doyoung just called you useless, Johnny!” shouts back Jaehyun with a grin.

“Because he is useless! Won’t do anything unless he absolutely needs to!”

“It’s true,” he says with a shrug and a toothy grin. “Guilty as charged.”

“Glad we’re not the only ones who understand how useless he is!” says Yuta with a laugh.

Doyoung grins and the three talk as Johnny leans against a pillar, arms crossed and attention occupied by his phone, until they all simultaneously turn towards him, smiling deviously. Johnny doesn’t complain as Doyoung hops onto his back, forcing him to carry Doyoung and roll both suitcases. It’s difficult, but he’s careful in keeping Doyoung suspended as he walks to the station.

“Wow, not lazy anymore, huh?” teases Yuta with a shit-eating grin.

“If he dropped me, I would punch throat him,” deadpans Doyoung with a frown. “Don’t give him any ideas.”

“He will. I dropped him when I was dragging him to bed once and in the morning he roundhouse kicked me so hard I blacked out.”

“Oh my God.”

“No sympathy in that household.”

Doyoung laughs and shakes his head. “None at all.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Ah! The ferry! God, it’s been forever,” says Doyoung with a laugh as they roll their suitcases onto the boat and take positions at the railing, spring sun beating down on their faces.

“Yeah. I think the last time I was here was when I was like five? Six?” says Jaehyun, grinning.

“I don’t think I ever came,” adds Yuta with a shrug. “Never really got the opportunity, I guess.”

“Well, you’re here now!” Doyoung is smiling as he talks, walking between Yuta and Jaehyun. “When did you move to Korea, by the way?”

“When we were ten? Eleven?” says Jaehyun with a curious glance in Yuta’s direction.

Yuta is thoughtful, counting on his fingers for longer than he should need to until he shrugs. “Yeah, sometime then.”

“Oh, wow. That’s so long ago.”

“Time really flies, huh?” says Johnny with a laugh. His voice is distorted by the engine of the ferry as it begins to move. The similar wavelengths make him sound like a robot, and it makes Doyoung snicker behind his hand.

The ride is quick, consisting mainly of photos and catching up - and including Doyoung in on the conversations as if he was never separated from them. It almost feels as if he grew up with them as they all chat, turning their heads towards the small island that the ferry docks at. They allow the foot traffic to slow before they drag their suitcases off the ferry and towards the hotel where they’re staying.

It isn’t until they’re unpacking that Doyoung realizes he hadn’t been asked to pay for anything other than his plane tickets and T-money card so far.

“Johnny, who should I give money for the room to? You?”

Johnny blinks before shaking his head. “I paid for both of us.”

“No -“

“It’s fine! Wasn’t even that bad! It’s fine!”

“Johnny.” “Nope! I paid! It’s done with! I paid! Think of it as a birthday gift!”

“Our birthdays are both in February.”

“... Super belated birthday gift?”

“Johnny, you bought me a new MacBook.”

“... Super early birthday gift?”

“... You’re insufferable. I’ll pay for your meals.”

“You better not.”

“Watch me.”

“Doyoung!”

“No!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

They’re sitting around the suite as Doyoung pulls out his phone with a laugh. The picture he shows them is of him and Johnny - the latter’s feet are planted deep in the snow and he looks off balance as he clings to Doyoung who stands tall, chin jutting into the air. 

“Johnny stuck his phone in the snow and almost ate shit trying to take this photo,” Doyoung explains with a laugh. Johnny tries to look upset, but he can’t. Not when the memory makes him laugh, too. It’s a fond memory despite his blunder, and for a moment, his mind flits back to how warm he felt with Doyoung’s arm wrapped around him. Yuta’s cackle brings him back to the present as Jaehyun slaps his back while guffawing.

“I have more if you want to see. Japan was fun. I want to go back,” says Doyoung, scrolling through his phone.

“Show them the photos from New York, too. That was fun.”

“I liked New York a lot, too. You tried to buy a potted plant and ship it back home, though.”

“I was almost successful. It would’ve looked nice on our windowsill.”

“Johnny, your succulents died. It’s better that you didn’t get it.”

“I swear I have a green thumb...”

“He doesn’t. You were right to stop him,” chimes in Jaehyun. “We had to take care of my mom’s flowers for a week when my parents went on vacation. They were dead in two days.”

“How?! How do you do that? I’m almost impressed,” says Doyoung with a laugh.

“It’s not on purpose... I want them to do well...”

“Do you over-water them?”

“... Don’t they need a lot of water?”

“You learn something new about a person every day,” says Doyoung in disbelief.

“Just eat your ramen. It’s getting soggy,” mumbles Johnny under his breath.

“We can get this fern that Sooyoung recommended me when we get back,” says Doyoung with a sigh. “Doesn’t need sunlight and she said even Yerim couldn’t kill it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Now stop sulking.”

Johnny ignores the piercing stares of Jaehyun and Yuta as he excitedly digs into his ramen. “Can I name it?”

“Yeah. Just don’t come crying to me when you get emotionally attached and it dies.”

“Yeah? And what about Phillip the cactus?”

“Phillip was a good cactus! How dare you!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The four decide that they’ll walk Namiseom every other day, instead choosing to make the over an hour trek into the city and to Myeongdong. Johnny relishes in the swiftness of using his T-money card to enter the subway, Doyoung giddy beside him. The scenery during the ride on the Gyeongchun line is relaxing and they stand near the doors the train, already packed due to their late start.

Doyoung excitedly slaps Johnny’s arm as they near Dongdaemun. “Can we stay here for a bit? Please?” he begs, looking up at Johnny with big eyes.

“... Sure,” he says after a pause, turning to Jaehyun and Yuta. “We’re going to get off here and explore a bit before we head over to Myeongdong. Is that okay?”

“Sure. Let us know when you’re on your way to Myeongdong and we can all meet up?” offers Yuta.

“Perfect.”

Before Johnny can say anything else, Doyoung is tugging on his hand and pulling him along.

The rest of the trip follows the same pattern. Doyoung asking Johnny for something - anything, really - and Johnny immediately complying. He ignores the knowing glances of his friends, instead choosing to focus on Doyoung’s smile that grows each day.

They even buy matching t-shirts at Coex, much to the amusement of Jaehyun and Yuta, who wiggle their eyebrows. Johnny says nothing. Instead, he watches as Doyoung peruses Innisfree to find a gift for his mother.

“Do you think she’d like this?” he asks, holding up a toner, gold-flakes suspended as he inverts the bottle while peering at it critically. “Or would she think it’s too much?”

“She’ll love anything you get her, Doyoung. Don’t worry too much.”

“I just want it to be perfect.”

“You are.”

“What?” They stare at one another in silence before Doyoung shakes his head. “I’ll get it, then.”

After shopping - and a lunch that Yuta loudly complains is overpriced - the four decide to become  _ super tourists _ for the day. The Coex Aquarium is fun for all of them - but mostly Johnny, who’s a magnet for children who stare up at the  _ very-tall-man _ with their  _ very-big-child-eyes _ . He’s a bit of a spectacle, but he preens under the attention as he catches Doyoung’s gaze, full of fondness and something he can’t seem to put his finger on.

They stamp their maps, queuing up behind children visiting with their parents and racing one another to the next station. It’s silly, but for all of them, it’s a moment of freedom and the opportunity to forget the desk jobs that they have to return to in less than a week’s time. In fact, Johnny doesn’t even think about it until he’s eating soondae in Gwangmyeong Market and Doyoung pulls a face as his phone buzzes.

“What is it?” asks Yuta, swallowing his makgeolli.

“Probably work. Again. The person I left in charge of my project while I was gone is kind of floundering. I feel bad. They won’t be promoted anytime soon.”

“Is everything okay?” asks Johnny around a mouth-full of soondae.

“Yeah. I’ll just have to work late for a few weeks when we get back.”

“It’s a no from me, chief,” says Jaehyun. “I mean, the fact that you’re even fielding work emails on this vacation is astounding. I’ve silenced my phone. We all have.”

“I’d really like a promotion, and this project is kind of the backbone of our boss’s decision.”

“Rough,” mutters Yuta.

“You’ll get it, though. Especially now that they see how vital you are to the team,” says Johnny.

“Or they’ll think I’m incapable of teaching others to succeed. We’ll see,” mutters Doyoung, jabbing at the soondae. The auntie running the stall raises an eyebrow and he offers a sheepish smile as he stops. “We’ll see.”

“Have confidence, Doyo.” Johnny pats him on the shoulder comfortingly before smiling. “You’re doing enough.”

Doyoung pulls a face at his dinner before nodding. “Enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You never told us about the New York trip,” says Jaehyun, crossing his legs as he leans his back against the couch. They all leave Korea tomorrow, their two week vacation coming to a close. “Well, other than the plant story.”

“Oh! Well,” says Doyoung with a laugh. “We went to The Vessel and trusted some absolute stanger with Johnny’s phone to take a photo from above of us. And I played chess with a nice uncle in Central Park. Lost miserably.”

Doyoung tells the stories as he scrolls through their photos from the city. He shows them the photo from The Vessel: Johnny’s arms are spread wide and both their grins large, the ground floor of the building as their backdrop. He follows it up with a picture of him - candid, definitely taken by Johnny - peering thoughtfully at a chess board, pieces scattered around. There’s a story for almost every picture, though Yuta and Jaehyun both notice something curious about his photo gallery.

“So many... squirrels,” mutters Yuta, mildly amused.

“They’re huge there!” exclaims Doyoung, waving his arms around. “Absolute units! I swear they could mug me for all my money.” They all laugh at Doyoung’s outburst, earning them a pout. “Johnny, you agreed with me when we were in the city!”

“Yes, because you  _ did _ throw some money at them.”

“I thought it would make them leave me alone,” mutters Doyoung, frowning.

“It’s okay. You got your money back in the end, so it didn’t matter.” Johnny rubs his arm consolingly, watching Doyoung’s pout fade away. _ Plus, it was cute _ , he thinks,  _ so I didn’t know how to tell you to stop _ . In the back of his mind, Johnny realizes that he doesn’t know how to deal with all these Doyoung feelings and that he isn’t that discreet, either, if Jaehyun and Yuta’s snickers are anything to go by.

It’s just that, the only person that he wants to understand his feelings, doesn’t.

But, he has time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny always tells himself he has time, but he doesn’t. He never has time - instead, he watches the excitement fade from Doyoung’s eyes as they all go their separate ways, until their hours together are minimized by Doyoung’s workaholic attitude that is strictly at odds with Johnny’s equally work-obsessed, though from home, attitude.

The apartment feels empty every night and he struggles to sleep until he hears the key turn in the door and Doyoung’s none-too-subtle steps making their way deeper into the apartment, before stopping in front of his room. Johnny closes his eyes and pretends to sleep as Doyoung peers his head in before closing the door as quietly as possible and disappearing into his own room.

Johnny doesn’t question it. Simply lets it happen until he’s thankfully graced with Doyoung’s presence again at dinner. They talk as if nothing’s changed, though. Doyoung asks how Yuta and Jaehyun and Johnny’s parents are doing and Johnny asks how Taeyong and Kun and Ten and Doyoung’s parents are and it’s natural. It’s  _ normal _ \- the natural flow of things. They settle into their routine and, like that, Johnny locks his feelings away for another rainy day.

Quite literally.

They typically don’t have problems when it rains. Their apartment building has long withstood the test of time and nature. There is a first time for everything, though. Johnny is confused as his door is flung open at 2:57 AM, Doyoung standing in the doorway, hallway lit up behind him ominously.

“Doyo?” slurs out Johnny, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s raining in my room.”

“... What.”

“It is _ raining _ . In my  _ room _ .”

“... Again,  _ what _ ?”

“The roof is fucking  _ leaking _ , Johnathan.”

“That’s not my name -“

“I don’t care.  _ Help me _ .”

Before Johnny can say anything else, Doyoung, slightly damp, crawls under his covers after closing the door behind him. “Doyo -“

“Good night.”

“... Good night?” He opens and closes his mouth several times, but, in the end, Johnny says nothing. Instead, he lets Doyoung curl up against his side until his breath evens out and both of them are fast asleep.

He has time, he thinks, before he sleeps.

When they contact the landlord, they’re told they’re not the only ones who are having leaking from their roof, and that it’ll be some time before all issues are resolved. Doyoung, as soon as their call with the landlord is finished, starts shoving things into Johnny’s drawers and closet, his roommate watching in silence as he loudly bangs around, cursing everyone.

“ _ Motherfucking stupid ass plumbing _ ,” hisses Doyoung, placing his diploma next to Johnny’s on his desk. “Can you believe this? Weeks!  _ Weeks  _ until it’s fixed!”

Johnny nods in silence, instead choosing to let Doyoung blow off steam on his own schedule. Neither of them mention how Doyoung moved into his room without a second thought, the pull-out couch in their living room forgotten until Doyoung’s older brother stops in town for a few days and asks to stay over.

“I can just stay with Doyoung in his room,” says Gong Myung with a laugh as he drags his suitcase into the apartment.

“Oh. I’m actually sleeping with Johnny in his room,” says Doyoung casually, placing the cups of tea on the coffee table. No one misses how Johnny and Gong Myung are spluttering as he steaps the tea. “My roof is leaking.” His follow-up is smooth, though the two older men still beat their chest in an attempt to clear their lungs. “You’ll have to sleep on the pull-out couch for this stay.”

Johnny averts his eyes from Gong Myung’s piercing gaze as the older brother nods slowly. “... Right. Fine. I see. So you two finally -“

Doyoung swiftly punches his brother in the shoulder as he grits his teeth in a tight smile. “Watch yourself.”

“I’m your older brother -“

“I will not hesitate.”

“He kicked the back of my knee yesterday while we were walking to work because I told him his tie was crooked and I took a knee in a puddle. I wouldn’t put it past him,” stage whispers Johnny, firmly squashing his curiosity regarding what exactly Gong Myung was about to say.

“What happened to my little obedient brother?”

“He drowned when my roof started leaking,” deadpans Doyoung with a frown. “Anyways, take the pull-out or I can find you a hotel nearby.”

“No, no. The couch is fine. I’ll just… see a masseuse when I’m home.”

“You don’t have to stay. You could stay in any of the hundreds of hotels in this state.”

“I just wanted to visit my baby brother!”

Doyoung pinches the bridge of his nose, grip loosening as Johnny pats his shoulder. “Right. Of course.”

Johnny is relatively successful at avoiding Gong Myung’s attempts at confrontation during the latter’s visit until they’re alone together in the apartment during his final night, Doyoung caught up helping his team in the office. He’s finished ordering dinner when he turns around to see Gong Myung standing in the doorway, arms crossed. They stand in terse silence for what feels like hours until Johnny finally speaks.

“Hello?” offers Johnny weakly, smile wavering. His voice cracks and he internally cringes at the show of weakness.

“Are you and Doyoung secretly married?”

“What?! No!” he splutters, waving his hands frantically. “No,  _ no _ ! Not even close! We’re not even dating!”

“Then why are you sleeping in the same bed?”

“What is this? Colonial America? His roof was leaking so he’s been staying in my room.”

“He could’ve just slept on the couch. Why didn’t he?”

“I... I don’t know? He just kinda moved his stuff in? I - I don’t particularly enjoy arguing with Doyoung about things, especially at three in the morning with a leaking roof.”

Gong Myung’s eyes are narrowed, though whatever was on the tip of his tongue is forgotten as the front door opened.

“Johnny, I ran into the delivery guy downstairs so I just took the food from him,” calls Doyoung from the doorway. “I got us bubble tea from the Gong Cha down the street on my way home, too.” He rounds the corner to the kitchen and looks at his brother blankly before shuffling in and placing things on the table.

“Everything okay?” asks Johnny, concerned.

“Yup. Just fine. Give me a second. I’ll be right back,” says Doyoung, the sound of the front door closing behind him trailing into the silence. Johnny and Gong Myung stare at the kitchen table - a bag of take out for three and two bubble teas.

“You motherfu -“

“I swear on my life!”

Other than the singular confrontation, Gong Myung’s visit is largely uneventful and the apartment’s plumbing is fixed. Except, Doyoung is much slower to move out of Johnny’s room than he was to move in.

Johnny assumes it’s just that it’s harder to discern whose is what, and spends hours helping Doyoung parse through things that seem to just get lost in the fray again. Yuta calls him the biggest dumbass to grace the planet and Jaehyun blocks him, though not before telling him to let Yuta know when he’s come to his senses. Johnny doesn’t get it.

For what it’s worth though, Johnny doesn’t mind. Thinks it’s like second nature when Doyoung comes back from work late, grumbling about how he needs to buy a new mattress and how Johnny should, too, because his bed’s a piece of shit, before showering and curling up in bed beside Johnny, who reads a book in the light of his bedside table as Doyoung falls asleep, head on his shoulder and arms wrapped around his middle.

It’s become so natural that Johnny doesn’t feel his heart speed up until he closes his book and looks at Doyoung before he turns off the light. At his eyelashes that brush his cheek bones and the small smile settled on his lips as he dreams.

Johnny, for what it’s worth, doesn’t mind that Doyoung is taking forever, because Johnny would ask for all that and a day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doyoung never really moves out of Johnny’s room, really. Johnny does. He’s sent on a several month project to a different location, hours away. He’s given an option - commute back and forth every week, or move closer until the project is over. After he and Doyoung discuss it - tersely, he might add - over dinner, he decides on the latter.

It’s months of bad sleep and long phone calls until one of them falls asleep. Sometimes, Doyoung will read to him from the books he left in their home until he falls asleep to the sound of his voice.

It’s months until he’s home again. He doesn’t comment on the boxes stacked in the living room, the mattress and bed frame, still packaged neatly in Doyoung’s untouched room, or Doyoung’s small body curled up on his side of the bed. Instead, he slips off his shoes and slides into bed, Doyoung’s arms wrapping around him like he never left.

He has time to think about it later, though he had months to think about everything. Johnny always  _ has _ time, he realizes. He always has time - he just doesn’t want it. Johnny is content in letting things exist as they are, even if his heart constricts at the way that Doyoung smiles at him sleepily, jostled from the disturbance, before he falls back asleep.

Johnny missed this. Misses this even as he lays in bed and counts sheep that dance across the backs of his eyelids. Being next to Doyoung feels like home. Thousands of miles away would still feel like home with Doyoung by his side.

Johnny realizes he’s in deeper than he thought. He’s not sure he really cares, though. Not in this moment, anyways. He’s content to sleep away the weekend with Doyoung by his side.

They go to Gong Cha after lunch on Saturday like they do the second week of every month. They don’t talk about the past few months. Instead, they act as if years had passed since Johnny had moved out. The cashier isn’t surprised to see Doyoung, already ringing up their usual drinks.

“I haven’t seen Johnny in a while! You’ve been picking up your drinks to go by yourself for a bit there, Doyoung.”

Johnny peers at Doyoung who smiles uneasily, handing over his card. “Well, Johnny’s finally not that busy, so, you know. Here we are.”

“It was weird seeing you without him. Glad his schedule’s lightened up!”

Doyoung picks up their drinks - Johnny’s too sweet and Doyoung’s not sweet enough - and they sit by the window of the shop, customers flowing in and out of the space at a steady pace. Johnny sips his drink in silence before looking at Doyoung carefully.

“You still came here while I was gone? Why?”

“I couldn’t have them forget our orders! We worked too hard at becoming regulars to waste that.”

“What did you do with my usual order?”

“I drank it? What else was I supposed to do? You know we shouldn’t waste food.”

“You hate my order.”

“The price I pay for your happiness,” teases Doyoung. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t think about it.”

Johnny does think about it, though. Thinks about it a little too much as he sits at his desk and stares at his computer screen, the numbers all mashing together until he closes his eyes and presses his cheek against his desk.

“Hey, Johnn -  _ woah _ ! You look like  _ shit _ ,” says Sehun as he rounds the corner of his cubicle. “You feeling alright?”

“Yes.”

“You look like you’re about to vomit.”

“Perhaps.”

“That doesn’t constitute feeling alright, you know.”

“I’m fine.”

“... Right. I’m getting Doyoung. I’ll be right back.”

Before Johnny can argue, Sehun has disappeared, reappearing minutes later, hot on Doyoung’s trail. The latter straightens Johnny in his chair, pressing the back of his hand to both cheeks and his forehead before tutting. “You have a fever. Go home,” says Doyoung. Neither of them notice as Sehun slips away in the fray.

“I need to work!”

“You need to  _ rest _ . Go home. I’ll pick you up porridge on my way home.”

“Don’t wanna,” whines Johnny with a frown.

“You big baby. Get up. Come on. We’ll work remote from home, then. I said get _ up _ , Johnny. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

It’s a process, tucking a delirious six-foot-something man into bed, but Doyoung manages, despite being roped into also calling it an early night. But Johnny can’t help it - it’s hard to sleep without Doyoung by his side. He wonders when exactly that happened, though Johnny has become very good at not thinking about things like that when in bed, instead choosing to close his eyes and drift to sleep.

He can think about it later. He has time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny is out of commission for days, a whining mess as Doyoung drags himself out of the apartment to work after making sure he has everything he needs.

“I have to work late tonight, but I asked Taeil to stop by with porridge from the shop down the road you and I like.”

Before Johnny can complain, Doyoung is out the door and he’s left to his own devices. He thinks that there is a Johnny-shaped indent on his mattress that will never go away from rotting in this mortal prison until there’s a knocking at the door. He drags his body out of bed to open the door, opening it for Taeil, who sends him a positively aggravated glare.

“Please take this and eat it so I can go home.”

“I want Doyo’s cooking.”

“Well, I’m not Doyoung, now am I?” asks Taeil with a frightening, tight-lipped smile. “Eat this. Or Doyoung will have both our heads.”

Johnny grumbles, but eats it anyways, huddled at the small kitchen table as Taeil situates himself across from Johnny. It’s largely silent other than the occasional slurp from Johnny. Taeil clasps his hands together and looks thoughtful as he sits there, analyzing Johnny’s face.

“I’m just curious, I guess. Everyone in the office is. Both of your departments. But, are you two dating? Or something? It’s mostly HR - they think you two didn’t disclose it or something.”

“No.”

Taeil laughs until he realizes Johnny is serious, quickly sobering up. “... Please tell me you’re joking.”

“I’m not. We’re not dating.”

“Married?”

“Nope.”

“Well this makes no sense,” says Taeil, leaning his head on his hands. “You two are clearly head over heels for one another.”

“I mean...” Johnny pauses, setting down his spoon with a grimace. “Doyoung isn’t but... am I that obvious?”

The quick sequence of emotions that flit across Taeil’s face are mostly of sheer, unadulterated annoyance, followed by pity and sadness. He rubs his face as he sits back in his chair and sighs. “You’re mighty blind, Johnny, if you can’t see the way that Doyoung looks at you and cares about you. I thought we left this sort of stuff back in elementary school. And, yeah, you are that obvious. It’s kind of sad. Why don’t you just take the chance and tell him how you feel?”

“Because he doesn’t reciprocate.”

“Jesus Christ, you are the  _ biggest idiot _ I have ever had the displeasure of working alongside. Does Doyoung tell you how stupid you are?”

“All the time.”

“Good. Fuckin’ idiot.”

“Hey! Don’t insult the sick person!”

“Yeah, you’re sick alright. Lovesick. Just tell him how you feel, Johnny. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Rejection?”

“No way in hell you get rejected. If anything, you might eat shit and fall into the road into the path of a Vespa and break an arm.”

“That... was oddly specific,” mutters Johnny.

“I speak from personal experience.”

“... Are you okay?”

“Peachy.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny and Doyoung sit side-by-side at the kitchen table as they Skype with Jaehyun and Yuta, catching up with major life events from the past few months.

“I met a guy here - his name is Sicheng,” says Jaehyun with a shy smile. “I really like him.”

“That’s great, Jae!” says Yuta excitedly. “I’m happy for you!”

“What about you, Yuta? Meet anyone you fancy?”

“I’m happy being single,” he answers honestly with a shrug. “I don’t feel any kind of rush to be in a relationship. I’m an uncle, so I do have little kids who I occasionally take care of. I’m at a good place in life right now. I’m happy where I am.”

“I’m glad.”

“Will he be joining you guys on the next trip?” asks Doyoung with a smile.

“I’d like him to! But, what do you mean you guys? You’re included too, Doyoung!”

“No, it’s fine,” says Doyoung with an unreadable smile.

“That’s ominous,” mutters Yuta with a frown.

“Well, you both know how Johnny took that project, right? I actually just got an email before this call and I was offered a similar one. Except it’s... kind of permanent. It’s a few years - to help situate a new branch in a different city.”

Johnny’s head whips towards Doyoung so fast that he thinks he sees stars. “What? No,” he blurts out. “You can’t leave before I tell you I love you.”

“... What.”

“Holy  _ shit _ .”

“Oh my God.”

“What? What did I - oh my fucking God. I just said that out loud.”

“... We’ll call you both back later,” says Doyoung gently, ending the call. He closes the laptop, deceptively calm as Johnny sweats, the overwhelming urge to vomit consuming his entire being. “... Do you want to say that one more time?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Are you positive?”

“Absolutely.”

“You don’t even want to hear me say, ‘I’m in love with you, too?’”

“I don - what?”

Johnny knows his jaw is hanging open and, in any other circumstance, he would be embarrassed as Doyoung gently pushes it closed with a fond smile. So many thoughts are racing through his head and Doyoung leans back to look at him, eyes wide.

“I’ll take that as a no.”

“Please.”

Doyoung pauses and looks at him. “What?”

“Please don’t play around. I don’t really think I can handle that right now.”

They stare at one another in silence until Doyoung reaches out for his hand, rubbing circles on his palms. “I’m not joking, Johnny. I’m honest to God, swear on my mother’s heart, in love with you. I have been for years now. Trying to drop hints here and there to tell you.”

Johnny blinks owlishly as he scans Doyoung’s face for any traces of deviousness or deception. Years of friendship have him tuned in on different habits - but all he can see in Doyoung right now is fragility and nervousness.

“What?”

“God, Johnny. You’re really not the most subtle, you know? I had a feeling you liked me back, but I was never sure. It was always back and forth with you. But, recently, I think I realized that I was right. Because, who lets their best friend move into their room and never back out? Who still pays rent for an expensive-as-hell apartment for  _ months _ when they’re not even living there so their friend won’t have to find a new roommate? Who whispers about the stars while pointing at the light-show from a constellation lamp I got them maybe eight Christmases ago?”

“You knew?”

“I did. I just wanted you to figure it out for yourself. You never seemed like you knew that you were in love with me and I didn’t want to force it.”

“Denial is strong in me. You know that.”

“I do. It’s fucking annoying,” says Doyoung, though it holds no malice. “I love it about you, anyways, though.”

Johnny’s heart soars in his chest a little until he remembers what exactly prompted this conversation. “I figured it out. But a little late, I guess?”

“I still have time to make a decision. I don’t have to say yes. But...”

“But you want to.”

“I do. I really want to, Johnny. This is an awesome opportunity.”

“You should do it, then.”

“... Right.”

“It’s all tentative, right? I’ll fly out to visit you as often as I can. And, who knows. Maybe I’ll be asked to head out there, too.”

Doyoung smiles softly as he laces their fingers together. Johnny forgot that he had been rubbing comforting circles into his hand until the motion changed. It feels natural and right, as everything with Doyoung does. Johnny has a good feeling about the emails that sit in his inbox as he smiles back at Doyoung.

“We’ll work it out,” Doyoung says softly. “We did in the end, didn’t we?”

“I guess.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny hates moving with a burning passion. He’s pretty sure that there’s clear packing tape stuck to his back, underneath his shirt, and Doyoung runs around, frazzled, as he helps the movers know which things are ready to be taken downstairs to the truck. He pauses in the frenzy to press a quick kiss to Johnny’s lips before telling the movers to take the many boxes of clothes that they packed up. Johnny’s back aches and he’s not actually sure whose things are in what, seeing as everything has become communal since the shit-show of a confession months ago.

Johnny’s gut feeling was, to his surprise, correct, as he had received a similar offer to Doyoung’s regarding the new branch. Their decision was easy and their last few months in their old office was spent finalizing paperwork - “Yes, Joohyun. We’d like the paperwork to disclose a relationship.” “Twenty steps ahead of you, Johnny. I already filled it out.” “What.” “What? We’ve all been waiting for this!” - and tying up loose ends - “Taeil.” “Oh motherfucking finally! Hallelujah, praise the Lord, for Johnny has finally seen The Truth.” “... ouch.”

Everything with Doyoung was - is - easy. Johnny still feels giddy, a bit like a teenager, when he thinks about their first kiss. It was silly, shared under blankets in the dead of winter. Doyoung always makes Johnny feel warm. Literally and figuratively. He was surprised when Doyoung placed a hand on his cheek and pressed their lips together.

It was chaste, but sweet, and Johnny smiles as he thinks about how his heart absolutely soared in that moment. How he was given the absolute pleasure to lean forward again and kiss Doyoung two, four, six, ten, hundreds of more times. To lean forward and kiss Doyoung, who giggled so softly as Johnny peppered his entire face with kisses, who hummed softly as Johnny slotted their lips together and ran his fingers through Doyoung’s hair.

Johnny truly loves Doyoung.

Johnny loves Doyoung so much, that he brings up the topic of what they’re going to name their children before they’re even thinking of adopting. Or, before they’re even married, really.

“I was thinking Donghyuck. Isn’t Donghyuck cute?”

“I don’t know. I like Jeno,” replies Doyoung while scrunching his nose.

“What about Minhyung?”

“Isn’t that just Mark’s Korean name?”

“... And what of it?”

“Don’t forget to invite him over for dinner sometime now that we’re all in the same place!”

“True, true. I’ll do that next week. What’s a good day?”

“Probably Thursday?”

“Thursday it is, then! I’ll let him know.”

They eat the rest of their dinner in relative silence until Doyoung places down his fork and says, absolutely seriously, “I require marriage before we consider children further, though.”

Johnny nods, not thinking of the ring he has hidden in his locked drawers in his office. “Of course! It’s just... hypothetically speaking, I think Donghyuck would be a cute name.”

“... I still think Jeno is better.”

“Well, if you think we could handle two kids -“

“You’re basically one glorified man child,” replies Doyoung with a snort. “One child is enough. For now.”

The conversation of children is largely dropped until Johnny drops the question - quite literally, seeing as there was a mad scramble for the ring that rolled across the restaurant floor. He had tried to be fancy - to give Doyoung the proposal he thought he deserved. But, as Doyoung said yes and kissed him gently, he followed up with a, “I would’ve been happy with breakfast in bed and a simple, ‘Will you marry me?’ But, this is okay, too.”

“When will we be gifted with grandchildren!” exclaims Johnny’s mother over video call that night. “I want more than one grandchild, by the way.”

“We said once we’re married,” explains Johnny, glancing over to Doyoung who speaks with his parents on the phone. “I know Doyoung said he only wants one, but he brought up the other day how our future sons Donghyuck and Jeno are going to be top students. So, I’m sure it’ll all be fine in the end.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

The wedding is bigger than Johnny wanted, but, as they greet everyone during the reception, he thinks it was worth it. Even tripping walking up and down the aisle, nearly vomiting from nervousness during his vows, and watching Doyoung cry so hard Johnny nearly punched himself in the face for making the love of his life cry, was made worth it from the absolute glow that emitted from Doyoung.

Johnny would do anything for this man - he’s known this for years now, but this day has merely cemented this notion as Doyoung grabs his hand under the table and smiles up at him with starry eyes. He thinks that he could name the constellations, each named for moments they’ve shared together.

Johnny has time, he realizes happily. So much time with the man he loves.

And, in the end, they do adopt two boys - Donghyuck and Jeno. Johnny isn’t surprised that Doyoung was weak to the idea of adopting two infants who desperately needed homes. They move to a house in a suburb and spend the months preparing to bring them home by arguing over the colors in the nursery and what the safest cribs are. (They settle on soft greens and yellows and cribs that have been thoroughly vetted by people.)

It’s nerve-wracking, and Doyoung doesn’t stop nervously pacing until the two boys are safely in their arms, Jaehyun and Sicheng in the front seats as they drive home from the airport. Yuta waits at their home, making a meal for the anxious new parents. It’s a lot of firsts and a lot of learning sprinkled with plenty of sacrifices that, if Johnny were given the option to, he would do all over again.

Being parents is hard. Johnny realizes now how much his parents had sacrificed for him, as he drags himself out of bed as Jeno cries, rousing his brother, as well. Doyoung rolls over and watches Johnny shuffle towards the nursery before deciding to get up and help.

It’s hard and there’s so much learning. They want to be perfect, to do perfect by their children. It’s hard though. Hard when they get sick for the first time and Doyoung is sobbing, wondering where he went wrong, what he could’ve done better. It’s hard when they have to start working again and they have to drop their children off at the daycare.

Johnny is tired. He doesn’t mean to snap - doesn’t mean to shout so loud that the babies start crying and Doyoung is left speechless. He never means to snap - especially at Doyoung of all people. But being a parent is hard. It’s even harder to juggle being a parent and a husband and an employee. He hasn’t found balance yet.

For the first time ever, Doyoung sleeps with his back to him. Johnny feels lost.

They don’t talk about the fight. They sweep it under the rug and keep moving forward like nothing happened like they do with every fight from there on out. Jaehyun frowns on video call as Johnny laments over how he and Doyoung haven’t spoken about the fights, instead letting their frustrations with one another build.

“Have you considered maybe you should approach it first, Johnny?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re both equally at fault and someone’s gotta give,” chimes in Sicheng from the background. “Also, hi, Johnny. Didn’t mean to be eavesdropping.”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right. I think.”

“Sicheng is always right,” says Jaehyun with a laugh. “It’s why we work well together.”

Johnny smiles. “Yeah.”

“Also, did we tell you? The paperwork for Jaemin’s adoption has officially gone through. He’ll be coming home soon.”

“Oh! That’s amazing! Congratulations!”

“Thanks. We’re gonna communicate. Unlike you and Doyoung which, according to Jaehyun, you two have had issues with communicating for years. We’ll fight. Because that’s normal, but we’ll talk about it.”

“He’s telling you to talk about it with Doyoung, Johnny.”

“I know. I will.”

“You better. Also? Be on the lookout for a baby shower invite!” shouts Sicheng as he moves out of frame. “Looking forward to seeing you!”

“Yeah!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Johnny, we need to talk.”

“Please don’t divorce me!”

“Johnny, what? No, I - we need to talk about the fighting, yes, but I’m not going to divorce you over some stupid spats. We need to buy Jaehyun and Sicheng baby shower gifts.” Johnny and Doyoung stare at one another before the latter shakes his head tiredly. “I love you too much to just give up like that.”

Johnny feels himself tearing up as Doyoung holds his arms open for him. They stand there for what feels like hours, the only sounds in the house coming from Johnny’s sniffling and the gentle pattering of feet as their toddlers run around in the playroom. Doyoung rubs his back gently and Johnny presses his cheek against Doyoung’s head, closing his eyes.

“Listen. We went through so much to get where we are today. We’re gonna fight - it’s only natural. But, we’re also gonna get through this.” Johnny rests his forehead on Doyoung’s shoulder and hums in response. “Johnny, I would give you the stars and the moon if I could. But I can’t, so instead I’ll give you all my love. It’s like I said in my vows that I wrote. I will love you until the end of time regardless of anything that happens. The world could come crashing down this very moment and I would be the luckiest man alive to have spent so many days by your side. I will never give up on us, and I know you wouldn’t, either.”

Johnny sobs on his shoulder as he nods.“I would never give up on us.”

“I know. That’s why I’m not worried.”

Johnny’s crying garners the attention of their children, who stand in the doorway. Donghyuck and Jeno hold hands as they totter over, their bare feet making the tiniest slapping sounds as they cross the kitchen floor to their parents. They each cling to one of Johnny’s legs. Wiping away his tears, he lets go of Doyoung to slide around the kitchen in his socks, the sounds of his children’s laughter filling the silence.

There’s a lot to fight for. Johnny knows that they’ll make it.

 

Johnny and Doyoung renew their vows when Donghyuck and Jeno are ten - old enough to understand, though young enough to still feel excited about a several-hour-long event. The two children fight over who will hold the rings and who will throw the petals - both want to throw the petals - though Donghyuck ends up winning in a best two-out-of-three rock-paper-scissors battle.

Everyone from their first ceremony attends and it’s equally as emotional as the first, and Johnny only wants to vomit a little less than last time. Doyoung still cries and Johnny still wants to toss himself into the atmosphere. It all the same, but a little bit different, and Johnny wouldn’t want to have it any other way.

Johnny’s world, once brittle, feels solid under his feet as Doyoung smiles up at him, eyes still holding all the stars and more. Their sons give them thumbs up from across the hall and Johnny smiles.

Living life was worth the wait.

Time hasn’t changed the excitement in Doyoung’s eyes as he holds Johnny’s hand under the table, smile lines at the edges of his eyes crinkling as he laughs at a bad joke Jaehyun tells him. Johnny isn’t really paying attention to anyone other than Doyoung. Not that anyone would expect anything else from him at this point.

As things begin to die down and as the hall starts to empty, Donghyuck and Jeno join them as they prepare to leave. He wraps his arms around his small family, ignoring their giddy complaints, and smiles. Everything, in this moment, feels whole.

Life is good.

“So? How was the ceremony?” Johnny asks as they walk out of the venue as a family.

“I liked it!” Donghyuck is jumping around as he talks, grinning brightly.

“I did, too.”

“Good. We worked really hard to make it nice!” Doyoung says as he ruffles their hair. “But, mostly importantly… how was the food!”

“The chicken was really… dry,” says Jeno, scrunching his nose. “The fish Hyuck got was really good, though.”

“So you  _ did _ take a bite!”

“And what of it?”

_ Yeah _ , Johnny thinks with a laugh,  _ Life is truly good _ .

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life is a blur. Johnny blinks and his sons are in high school. He takes a breath and they’re sixteen, passing their driving tests and fighting over who gets to drive the car and who’s going to be shoved to the passenger side. Johnny doesn’t remember being difficult as a teenager, though his mother assures him that he was indeed difficult.

Sixteen comes with a plethora of challenges that Johnny couldn’t predict. Growing up is hard, though. Jeno and Donghyuck are seventeen and there’s a lot of things said that everyone regrets, like when Doyoung catches Donghyuck smoking and punishes him, and their son tells them that he wishes they weren’t his parents at dinner. No one knows what to say. The house is unusually silent that day.

Jeno and Donghyuck hole up in their room for hours after dinner. When Doyoung passes by, he hears the sound of Donghyuck crying and Jeno consoling him. It tears him to pieces as he slides into bed and curls up into Johnny’s side.

“What did we do wrong?” asks Doyoung quietly, fingers gripping Johnny’s t-shirt so hard he thinks it might tear. He doesn’t know what to say, so instead he presses his lips to the crown of his husband’s head and cries.

They can’t sleep and instead lets the sound of the television gently fill the silence that feels more like a fissure. Eventually, Jeno slips into their room late that night and tucks himself in between his parents as they cry.

“Donghyuck didn’t mean it,” he tells them, “you know he didn’t mean it. We’re just going through some growing pains.”

They never really figure out what’s going on in Donghyuck’s head, but Johnny knows that he’ll tell them when he’s ready. Yuta is over for dinner with them - a more common occurrence since he moved to the area for work. Jaehyun and Sicheng, also in town for a visit, joke around and subtly boast Jaemin’s popularity with boys  _ and _ girls at his school until Donghyuck excuses himself from the busy dinner.

Blinking, Yuta places a hand on Johnny’s shoulder before following the teenager. In the frenzy of a packed house, Johnny doesn’t even notice that the two didn’t finish dinner until he’s cleaning up the table, and staring out the window. It’s a quiet night - spring breeze barely moving the leaves of the trees in the dark. A movement from the corner of his vision prompts him to lean forward, giving him a better glimpse of the source - Yuta, and Donghyuck, he realizes. Donghyuck is talking nonstop and Yuta is listening to him with a serious expression.

Johnny thinks to himself that Yuta was always good at reading Donghyuck and Jeno - at treating them like adults when Johnny and Doyoung could be too overbearing, fully immersed into their roles as  _ parents _ and less as guardians - guides through the rocky path of life.

Yuta and Donghyuck still sit on the back porch together when all the dishes and cutlery are dried and put away. Johnny peers at them quietly from the kitchen window before joining Doyoung and Jeno back in the living room where Thor: Ragnarok still plays on the television. Jaehyun and Sicheng are gone, back at the hotel with Jaemin for their early departure tomorrow.

Eventually they come back inside and Donghyuck tucks himself between Johnny and Doyoung like when he was a kid. When he looks down at his son, Johnny realizes that he’s still a boy - that being seventeen, being called a teenager, doesn’t mean anything, really. Wrapping his arm around his son, Johnny closes his eyes. They have time. Johnny will always make sure that they have time.

“I love you, dad. So much,” murmurs Donghyuck.

“I love you, too, Hyuckie. I always have, I always will. Even before I met you, I loved you.”

“Thank you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny blinks and his sons are seniors in high school. He leans against the wall at the bottom of the stairs and Donghyuck slides up to him, blindly reaching for his father’s hand until they’re linked. Donghyuck’s hand is sweaty and Johnny passes a concerned glance over his son’s face as said teenager’s gaze nervously flits up and down the stairs.

They wait with Doyoung for Jeno to finish getting ready. Eventually the older of his two sons appears at the top of the stairs, prompting Doyoung to race up the stairs to help him down. It’s an awkward process and Donghyuck disappears for a moment, returning with a pair of crutches that he hands to Jeno once he’s settled on the ground floor. The lacrosse season had not been kind to Jeno his final season, whilst Donghyuck’s final stint as a baseball player saw state championships and a glimpse of the national tournament.

Jeno’s date, a lovely girl from the volleyball team whose name Johnny never truly remembers, arrives with her parents shortly after, Yuta making a loud appearance shortly after. They spend time taking photos and eating the hors d'oeuvres that Doyoung and Donghyuck had prepared together, before the driver that Yuta insisted on paying for arrived to take them off to prom.

Prom passes and when Johnny wakes up, it’s the day of graduation. Jeno and Donghyuck are passed out on the living room couch, the television still on. He turns it off before shuffling into the kitchen to start breakfast. The smells of pancakes, eggs, and bacon wake up the house, Donghyuck flitting off to answer the door for Yuta who bears graduation gifts and a big smile.

“Crazy to think that you guys used to be this big,” says Yuta, holding his hand a few feet off the floor. “You were so small and cute. What happened? Time really does fly by.”

“It does,” says Doyoung softly, smiling at his sons.

“How does it feel? To be done with high school?” asks Johnny, placing down another platter of pancakes.

“Fake,” replies Jeno around a mouthful of pancakes. “Also, when do I get my cast off again?”

“A few weeks if the scans are fine.” Doyoung places more food on Jeno and Donghyuck’s plates as he talks. “Please remember to use your crutches when you walk across stage, Jeno. I don’t want you hurting yourself more than you already have.”

“The dude slashed me in the leg. What was I supposed to do?”

“Break his leg right back. Duh.” Donghyuck snorts and rolls his eyes.

“Right. Let me also get banned from playing ever again and lose my scholarship to university.”

“Hm. You make a point, I guess.”

Jeno laughs as he shrugs. “But, if I wasn’t in so much pain, I might have, to be honest. I was so angry… I can’t believe my senior season ended like that…”

“You have four more years to play and prove yourself all over again. Don’t get ahead of yourself, champ,” interjects Johnny.

“I’m excited to get out there and watch a few of your games - both of you,” says Yuta.

“Sometimes I feel like I have three dads,” says Jeno with a sigh. “All three of you are equally as embarrassing during games.”

“I’m honored to be on the same level!”

“Don’t be.”

The day passes quickly. Johnny thinks to himself that he hasn’t cried this much since the day they brought the boys home. Doyoung takes enough photos to make a slideshow and Johnny simply adds to the collection with his obnoxiously large professional camera that Donghyuck pulls a face at when he turns around during the ceremony to stare his parents down.

Neither of their sons go to the senior party - instead, they stay home with their parents, eating popcorn and watching home movies from when they were younger. Time feels shorter, they all realize, when big changes loom in the horizon.

With his family all in one room, Johnny feels complete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny strongly believes that dropping his sons off at university is the single-most hardest thing that he has ever had to do, other than propose to Doyoung, who chatters excitedly with the boys, cramped into the backseat of their car, surrounded by boxes and bags. Current students help them unpack their car and take things up to their dorms - same building, different rooms - and Johnny and Doyoung flit anxiously between the two of them.

Doyoung is busy reminding them that their hamper should  _ never _ be overflowing as Johnny sobs while he makes their bed. There’s still the welcome events for the parents and their children, but there’s already an air of finality as they run off to sit with their roommates during the welcome speech.

They hold hands through everything - even lunch in the cafeteria with Donghyuck and Jeno, even the car ride home. Doyoung drives, Johnny crying quietly during  the long drive, an overnight stop in a cheap hotel to help them rest for the rest of the journey ahead.

“Do you think they were embarrassed?” asks Johnny wearily, turning to Doyoung as he slides into bed. His husband turns off the light and Johnny blindly reaches out for him until he’s safe in his arms.

“Donghyuck might have been a  _ little _ bit embarrassed, but you know that Jeno loves us too much. He was crying, too.”

“Jaehyun told me I was stupid for crying, so I just told him he’ll see when Jaemin is off to college.”

“It’s not stupid. You just love our sons so much. It’s a  _ good _ thing. It makes me love you even more - which is  _ basically _ impossible.” Doyoung smiles against his chest and Johnny presses his chin gently on the crown of Doyoung’s head. “Just because they’re off to college doesn’t mean they’re gone forever. They’ll be back in our arms before you know it.”

“You’re right.”

“We’ve done well, Johnny. And, I mean, we’re not  _ done _ being parents, but I like to think we’ve done a pretty damn good job so far.”

“We’ve come a long way.” Johnny’s words are loaded and Doyoung hums softly in reply. “Remember when we met in college? Ages ago.”

“We’ve indeed come a very long way.”

“I love you, Doyo, more and more every day.”

“And I love you even more.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Johnny feels his age when he and Doyoung walk behind their sons to take graduation photos as a family across the campus. His knees strain as they walk up flights of stairs, and his back aches the longer they sit on hard wooden benches. Doyoung’s hand on top of his breaks his train of thought and he pauses to press a kiss to Doyoung’s cheek.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” asks Doyoung softly, watching Johnny’s face carefully.

“I’m not young anymore,” he laments lightly. Part of his statement is lighthearted and funny, though part of it is a harsh reminder of the time that has passed.

“Neither of us are. Time has really passed, hasn’t it?” murmurs Doyoung softly, lacing their hands together.

“What are you two talking about?” asks Jeno, popping up from behind them and placing a hand on each of their shoulders.

“Time.”

“Ah,” chimes in Donghyuck, sitting next to Doyoung. He pulls up his father’s arm so it wraps around his shoulders. “It went by really quick, huh? I still kind of feel like I haven’t graduated high school, to be honest. It’s been four years.”

Johnny hums thoughtfully until Jeno squeezes his shoulder. Somewhere along the way his sons turned into men - Jeno’s face is defined and shows age and experience. It sobers Johnny’s heart in a way he hasn’t thought about in a while.

“It’s thanks to you guys that we made it this far, you know.”

“You did it all on your own. We just offered a little help where we could,” replies Johnny.

“No. Really. You guys have done so much for us,” argues Donghyuck with a frown.

“And you both have done a lot for us, too,” reasons Doyoung, rubbing Donghyuck’s shoulder.

College graduation, for Johnny and Doyoung, consists of less tears than high school. More than anything, it’s a source of pride as both sons graduate with Magna Cum Laude and honors from their respective departments.

It feels like it’s immediate when they’re helping Donghyuck move into his apartment in the city to work his new job as an accountant for a huge corporation and gathering the paperwork that Jeno needs for his Fullbright in Germany before returning to take a teaching position. 

When their sons are off and - essentially - officially moved out, Johnny has time to think of how empty their house feels. Retirement looms on the horizon for both him and Doyoung, opening up a world of possibilities for them.

He voices this over dinner one day and Doyoung smiles.

“Well… then let’s do everything we’ve always wanted to but couldn’t, I guess.”

Johnny laughs. “Let’s.”

Every day, from the moment they’ve met, has been an adventure with Johnny. Life is good. Life is great. Life is everything that Johnny wished it would be and more.

“I love you.”

“I love you even more.”

“Absolutely impossible.”

**Author's Note:**

> i’m posting this from a plane on my phone.  
> i’ll fix what needs fixing when i land.  
> i love johndo.  
> find me on curiouscat and twitter with the same username!  
> 


End file.
